First look at the title would have instigated repulsiveness in you. A silent loud voice would have screamed, “Shut your big mouth even before opening it, you stinking feminist, ready to blabber on another female issue…blah, blah, blah!” quite understandable. So, I thought, for a change, how about a take on men and issues related to them. Besides, plight of woman is so much highlighted that it has started falling on deaf ears.
To begin with, let me tell you that over a past few months I have been intrigued by a peculiar set of characteristics defining certain men. My intellectual faculty has failed to pop out one word to define such a lot but has given me reasons to call them marginalised. Their attributes include physical attractiveness, well read, eloquent speakers, of high professional and social status, nature lover, modern in appearance and thought for self, sought independence early in life, and determined. It was the other side of the coin that flabbergasted me. They are also hypocritical, self-centred, passive, tell-tale, vengeful, jealous, materialistic, enjoys scapegoatism, exhibit poor decision making abilities with regards to social networks, aspiring to be in good books of networks, highly critical and rigidly orthodox in outlook for such close relations, comfortable withdrawal from any situation, inhuman ability to ignore, filled with pretence to the core, not interested in family or intimate relationships, sees marriage as convenience while enjoying the prolonged phase of bachelorhood, extrovert but feigns introversion and pines over lack of companionship, devoid of emotion but always teary, suffers from guilt of early self-assertion and blame others for his social failure.
The mosaic of binaries amused me as I further deconstructed the composition. More I pondered, the more I felt at wits end. Human beings are characterised by good and bad qualities; it is predominance over other that makes all the difference. Some are also perfect amalgamation of both, thus switching roles as and when required. But, how do I define a character who mulls over something that he has yet does not want it, seeks independence yet resents it and blame others for his plight? Complexity here is insanely complex.
Microscopic examination of their lives reveals a calmly turbulent social life but a healthy professional side. It is families that they abhor the most. Family, which is synonymous with love, bond, relationship; love, bond, relationship is equated with responsibility, fellow feeling and care. Responsibility commands dedication, commitment, unpronounced promise to be together in thick and thin of life, in good times and bad, in autumn and spring. It is the onus that these men dread. Fear of taking up responsibility is too fearful an idea to execute. However, society and social institutions are hard task masters and treat their subjects alike. They are brought under scanner with slight digression from the defined social path. Continuous slaughtering compels them to escape. When on the crossroads, cunning as they are, they slyly choose the middle path, foxing the impression of being bogged by perpetuating demands of social institutions and shouldering every inch of the monstrous giant. Underneath the farce, they have switched off the voice of conscience, taking a back foot they wait for fragile human relations to worsen and snap, leaving behind no evidence of negligence and conscious betrayal.
The adopted side lane, which is a masterstroke, to crackdown all discomfiture is to comfortably disappear from the scene of action either by leaving the family of orientation, severing all ties with so called loved ones, dismantling of extended family, etc. Committing suicide is never their course of action because of extreme self love. The bold step is often coupled with outcry of series of wrongs meted on the now-helpless-shrieking victim by the “others” to justify his stand. Fanciful reconciliation may arise from time to time but it again is eyewash.
Peculiarity that envisages such men is hard to find yet they exist. I call this bunch of obnoxiously timid men as “marginalised minority.” Their vileness is too bitter for any human contact both physical and emotional but their psychological imbalance and ripped apart countenance is pitiable.