#Me Too

Visiting her maternal grandparents with her mom to bask in the warmth of their affection, explore the mango grooves, ride a tractor, soon turned into nightmare as the pain of penetration soon overpowered the innocent joys of childhood. Fragments of that cursed afternoon hovered over her mind as she was laid on the bed with a doll to divert her attention, while the perpetrator removed her underwear and touched her. Was she supposed to feel restless, agitated was not known then. She played with the doll as he took out his tool and pushed it on her. He applied force and it glided inside. Less than a couple of strokes and the child started crying. He was human enough to stop and comforted the crying girl. She was three. Today she cried #Me Too.

It became a regular practice. One after other her unless took turn to violate her sanctity. One night as she slept beside him, he made most of the opportunity. In the dead of the night, he pulled down her panties and inserted vehemently. As she woke up he advised her to enjoy with him. It’s a game, he said, and the stroked went on forever. Going deep inside her and back. There was no pleasure but pain. It was a rough night for her but none seemed bothered, not even the moon shinning bright at the window sill, as she prayed for some miracle to rescue her. She was five. Today she cried #Me Too.

Back in her hometown, her neighbourly uncles, had all the fun. Both the brothers were so fond of her that they would undress her lower body at every opportunity. They used chocolates and gifts as baits to call her inside their rooms. They were immensely lucky if their parents were not at home as their respective rooms would turn into abode of carnal pleasure. The elder brother went overboard in his desires one evening and waned to have anal sex. Bingo! This ended with the child writhing in pain. She was six. Today she cried #Me Too.

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Reminiscence

[1]

“Hi…I am having dinner but somehow I had the urge to talk to you.”

“Ok. Satiate your hunger!”

“I have felt ecstatic all day.”

“It was there in your voice in the morning. Couldn’t stop arching my ears, to hear the ecstasy in your voice.”

“Yeah, even you looked a lot positive today.”

“Just a glance and you could notice. Not bad.”

“I don’t even need a glance. It’s telepathic for you.  You are like that dope that kicks more and more with the passage of time. I am besotted n bewitched by you.”

“Seriously?”

“Hmmm.”

“This is the strongest kick I have ever got in my lifetime. It just goes on increasing as we speak.”

“Are you back?”

“I never left. I never will. Unless you ask me to.”.

“That’s kind of you. But I meant back from dinner. Hope I don’t ever have to ask you to leave.”

“Is there any particular condition on which you may ask so?”

“How come you have such strong feelings for me? Conditions, nope but not sure about circumstances.”

“You mean there may be circumstances where we may have to stop?”

“Who knows what life has in store.”

“I don’t know. You’re pure witchcraft. You know your black speech gets me back to the realm of the living from the heaven of ecstasy you got me into yesterday, which is actually good.”

“Oh! There is coexistence of fairy land and reality. We should not neglect either of them. Being grounded will keep us sane and prevent from drifting. This will also add longevity to our relationship.”

“I know. I am just a drifter. What you say is right, it’s just that I cannot bear the harsh reality that someday I may lose you, it shatters me.”

“I never left. I never will. Unless you ask me to.”.And listen. I won’t let you drift. If I am here as a support system, I will add to your betterment. And about the harsh reality, you lose a person when you are physically present with them. I am part of your mind. You will never lose me.”

[2]

“Was waiting for you.”

“Today seems my lucky day then. I should note it somewhere. What were you thinking? Am sure it is about preventing me from drifting.

“Not to worry, you are in safe hands.”

“Yeah I know. I am reminded of Luke, the Drifter Hear about it?”

“I know you don’t need to know about others.”

“That’s very deep and kind a sweet. It’s an LP (long playing record by Hank Williams). So when you use the word “drifting”, I can listen to that LP in my head. My brain works in funny ways.”

“It does.”

“I bet you might be looking super cute while trying to wake up from bed.”

“Am blushing. That’s for you to decide. How do I know whether I look cute or not.”

“That’s the worst part about being you! You don’t know what a big cutie pie you are!”

“How can one be a cutie pie?”

“The sad part is – that process is only known in second and third person, not in first person – at least for you.”

“I know I am rough and tough and then you call me cutie pie. It’s kinda complicated.

“No you are, super cute.”

“Ok. Noted. I will keep in mind that I am super cute. Will also go public about it…Super cute.” 

[3]

“Nice to hear your voice.”

“Same here.”

“I love to treat you like a brat. You should always be a brat around me.”

“You are inviting trouble. Be wary!”

“I am ready. Miss you much. I am switching my addiction for cigarettes with addiction for you it seems.”

“I am going to be beneficial for your health.”

“You’re addictive. That’s all I know.”

“Don’t make me blush every time.”

“And don’t make be blush every time saying that. I wish our paths would have crossed earlier.”

“About the paths, yes. I too was thinking same today. Even the optimal stopping solution hints at you.”

“You know the problem with most relationships is that, like those meat balls, they get stale over a period of time. It’s hard to imagine why relations that starts on such a high note end up losing all charm after a while. Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. With us it seems this may not be the case. Hope I am able to meet your expectations and keep rediscovering myself to keep having the same pull I have on you today.”

“Let’s hope for the best.”

“People should evolve in a relationship it seems. When people stop evolving it all becomes stagnant. I want to keep evolving with you.”

First Date

It was an unplanned date for them in the last five days since they started dating. They decided to meet at 7.30 pm. They texted each other as time lazily grazed making their heart race with every second.  

“Can’t wait any longer to meet you,” her screen read. A smile flashed on her face as her fingers scurried to reply. “Same here.” At the same time he was anxious and worried about her.  

“You have to commute all by yourself. I feel bad. You’re stretching all the way for me.”

“I will wait for you.”

“Let’s not do this. I am feeling bad. You go home. I will deliver food at your door step, ma’am.”

“That swiggy fellow can also do. Why you?”

“Okay. Let’s meet.”

“Will think now.”

“Don’t keep me waiting for an answer. Say yes.”

“I was planning to come but now I won’t.”

“Please don’t do this. You’re more important than all these trivial things.” (His reply made her fall in love with him over and over again.)

At 7.00pm she texted him, “Waiting for you.” His heart skipped a beat as he read the message.  They finally met at 8.45pm for dinner. He dropped her back home with a good night kiss on her forehead. On his way back, he was eager to hear her voice. And just then she called….

“I like someone complimenting my madness. I like being with you. But I just wanna hold you right now and you’re not there with me. I am incapable of sharing the love I feel for you.” (Silence)

“Go on. I want to listen to you.” (She entreated)

“When I don’t hear your voice in the morning, I don’t get kick. In the night, I just have to go out. Not to smoke but to talk to you. You have stoned me more than weed. Existential crisis of weed wears off after 3 hours. But this has got me stoned into that existential crisis since last few days.

“How do you feel after meeting today?” she inquired.

“Is there anything beyond existential crisis? That’s how I feel like. Beyond the realm of known. Ok just to elucidate and explain the gravity of the matter, existential crisis is the peak of any experience derived through senses. So what I am feeling is beyond it.”

“Tell your feelings upfront. Tell me all. From the beginning. First glance till the last.

“I think it did not begin with the first glance. It began when you said you were coming all the way for me and then you hesitated and then said yes again. Then I texted you that I left. And that’s when my boss started talking about something important. So I had to hold on. At some point I had to interrupt him and then I ran, crossed the road twice in a hurry to reach the parking. I literally ran. Was shit scared that you’d be annoyed – the last thing I wanted. I hurriedly opened my car door and inadvertently it hit my glasses. I didn’t bother to check whether they were ok. Just adjusted them and drove to meet you. And on the way, I was greeted with an unexpected traffic gridlock. With my heart pumping, limbic system going full throttle and adrenaline gushing, I blazed past other two wheelers and cars and finally reached to meet the love of my life. And there she was. Standing just near the entrance. I called but then I noticed that you saw me. So I cut the call. Added some lime flavoured car freshener and waited till you opened the door. There was an amazing sense or fulfilment with you sitting next to me. I felt so complete. But my mind had literally stopped. It was focused on convincing you and pleading you for not being miffed with my late arrival. After all, you came there, sat there and spent two hours just for me. It was a heart touching gesture sweetie. And then we entered the restaurant. I wanted to hold your hand as we walked up to the restaurant. But was shy and didn’t have the courage to.

So then we sat down. Ordered. Reordered. Changed places. Then I was just looking at your beautiful gazellesque eyes as I told you a funny tale. And I could see you were noticing my facial gestures. But you put up with my crappy story still (which only you could) and then reiterated verbatim.

As I tasted the food, it felt delicious one second and the other second I was this must be spicy by your standards. So then I started pouring curd in your food but I guess it was a little late. The capsaicin in those few morsels had already worked their foul spells. And then your eyes started watering. And you were sometimes shy, sometimes blushing and sometimes thinking about us. You also thought about a few other things as well. But whenever you played with the those salt and pepper bottles, you thought only about us. Yes this was so symbolic but you didn’t realize. Maybe you are realizing it now.

Then we came out. And started driving. The next time we entered the car, I could feel your fragrance. It was so invigorating . Had a good smoke. Forgot the way. But then when we returned I figured which the right way was. My mind was shouting to be logical and take the way. My heart wanted to stay with you. And it never let me take the logical way as it would lead you to your house earlier. Something it didn’t want I guess. It wanted to prolong the night. And then I drove away thinking I will give you time to freshen up. But then you gave second surprise. You called. And I was so happy seeing your call. I can go on and on and on. I want you to know that whatever you know about men is prolly true and whatever I know about women is true too. But I know you’re an exception. And I hope you know that I am an exception too. I know how to never even as much as touch you and still make your heart race. I just blabbered around aimlessly. I felt like I was with an angel all the while before. And suddenly as the door closed, I was snapped into reality. It all seemed like a dream. A dream that left me satisfied and wanting for more.”

“Ok now my turn.”

“Wow. I can feel Goosebumps.”

“My beginning is slightly different. It started in the morning when you asked me what’s on your mind. I wanted to meet you. It was going to be our first official date, although you didn’t wanted to call it a date. I was excited and could sense the same excitement in your voice. I had made up my mind to meet you. Thanks to me that I was adamant. By 8, I had missed you too much. Emotions overflowed and all I wanted was you. At times onlookers freaked me out and my heart craved for you.

“I wanna hold you tight. Is this for real? Let me pinch myself. Or is this another dream like the one a few hours before?”

“At 8.15 my phone rang, which I had been holding in my hand waiting to receive your call instantly. I felt and relieved at the same time. However, each passing moment was teasing me of your absence. I desperately wanted my agony to end. And then there you were.

“This is the first time I am seeing you express with such clarity. I wanna fall for you in every life time.”

“I noticed you instantaneously even before looking at the phone. My patience was giving away. I saw you looking at me. I hid my excitement. Not sure if it caught your attention because you were too busy apologizing.”

“Yeah I was busy apologizing. I never want to hurt you even for a millisecond. I just want to love you like crazy.”

“Sitting beside you this time was different. I was more at ease and felt comfortable as I chatted away. It was a treat to see you so closely. Something I was doing for the first time. You were happy and it was evident. It was not the restaurants that mattered then but your company that I cherished. I wanted to go on and on and on.”

“You’re beating me at my own game today. Wow. Just wow. You’re making me fall for you all over again today. I didn’t know your perception of our relationship is so profound. It’s palpable today.”

“Walking with you gave me a sense of fulfilment. You appeared to complete me. Choosing a place, food, and your smile made it all special. I enjoyed blushing with you.”

“I am honored. No words.”

“ I enjoyed your silly story and gulped it down with prawns. The smile, as I held your hand to stop you from adding curd, was too hard to go unnoticed. That happened spontaneously as I felt like a child being interrupted in her story by another loving gesture. I could see you notice my watery eyes with slight pain.”

“Of course. I can’t see you in pain and do nothing about it.”

“I actually blushed when you mentioned about my blushing. And yes, when I played with those tiny bottles I actually revelled in our company, short-lived yet profound.”

“You’re mine. I am not letting you go anywhere.  Your words are enticing strange love emotions in my heart.”

“I felt content both physically after eating and emotionally, as we returned. Didn’t want you to leave but couldn’t stop you either. You last utterance of love you with those passionate eyes that wanted to stop me and hug me made up everything that you feel didn’t go well.”

“No it went well. It was the end of one of the most enjoyable dream. Just wanted to cling to that last scene. And there are strange pauses in your replies. I don’t know. These pauses look resolute. Determined!”

“No dear. Am reliving our cute little thing. So engrossed.”

“I am at my wit’s end. I am enchanted. Just thinking about you. Can’t stop that. It’s a tsunami, hurricane, typhoon – It’s not a wave.”

“You are such a sweetheart. I am falling in love with you. God save me please!”

“I fall in love with you everyday.  Over and over again. The depths of your love are infinite it seems.”

“I never wanted you to know.”

“What?”

“My infinite love for you. Problem with me is when I love, I do it with everything that I have. I restrain but at times it come out.

“I want you to know that you’re mine. And you will always be mine. No matter what happens, I have already married you in my heart.”

Applying for the post of a Lover

Candidate: Hello Ma’am! I am deeply in love with your company. Is there any opening at present? I want to apply for a full time job of taking care of you.  No salary expected.

CEO: Send across your application, I will get back to you.

Candidate: Full time. 24*7. No Sundays. No holidays needed. Where should I send my application?

CEO: We are in need of such an employee. Let me tell you, salary is lifetime of love.

Candidate: When should I start? Right away?

CEO: Let me go through your application first. You haven’t sent it yet.

Candidate: Should I send it on Whatsapp right now?

CEO: No, you have to hand it over personally

Candidate: Your rules are strict.

CEO: We don’t recruit candidates online. It’s a face to face process. We need best heart.

Candidate: Does the process involve a hug?

CEO:  You can, if that’s part of your application.

Candidate: It is indeed. And kisses on forehead and ruffling of hair too

CEO: Anything else? Sounds like a realistic application.

Candidate: Yes. Lots of kisses

CEO: You already mentioned that.

Candidate: More real than anything else.

CEO: I am excited to meet you.

Candidate: I am excited to meet you too, boss

CEO: Tell me more about you.

Candidate: I have always dreamt of being in a romantic company such as yours. I hear I will have great growth prospects if I join your company. And you take care of your employees. A lot. But they don’t reciprocate well. I can say I am the candidate that can grow with your company. And most of all, I am durable.

CEO: Company has faced some difficult times and was almost on the verge of bankruptcy. But it’s recovering by God’s grace.

Candidate: Yes. I shall work my heart out to restore the company to it’s former prime and glory

CEO: Durability of feeling is a prerequisite. I think I can count on you.

Candidate: Yes. Very durable. Plus I am flexible that way. You can issue offer letter as and when circumstances permit. I can stay on probation until for a while unless the difficult times are over.

CEO: It’s not going to be as easy as you think. Company will test you enough to check your tolerance, acceptability and depth of love. Are you ready for that?

Candidate: I am ready to go through your rigorous tests if the reward is a permanent position in your company.

CEO: Company doesn’t like keeping employees on probation. Either you are onboard or you don’t. We respect emotions and feelings and have high regards for such rare virtues.

Candidate: Yes. I fully understand the risks of being on probation period. But I believe it is worth my time. Whether I am on board or not – I will serve the company well as long as the company feels I am worthy of carrying it’s brand name in my heart. All I want is a fair probation period and a fair trial.

CEO: I am overwhelmed by your dedication and persistence. Company will be privileged to have an employee like you who wants to give his best for the growth and development of the organisation. I assure you if you are recruited your love will reciprocated with same intensity and exuberance. And you are bound to enjoy our association.

Candidate: That is so generous of the company. I am ready to sign the contract anytime. I will work hard to earn the respect of the company. And I understand that other candidates may also have applied to join such reputed company and may be my seniors. But I am ready to persevere and prove myself an invaluable asset to the company. My sexo company!

CEO: Anything else?

Candidate: Should I consider accepted on probation?

CEO: Let’s meet tomorrow.

Candidate: Ok and?

CEO: I wanna test your hugs and kisses before confirming you. I wanna feel safe in your arms, listen to our heart beat, feel your breath on my face and then decide. I wanna feel whether my heart races as I come close to you.

Candidate: Fair enough, dear Company. See you tommorow.

Pristine

Dear Pristine,

Your heart is as pristine as namesake. I find joy with you and in so little a time, you have grown into a full blown addiction in my mind. I want to draw an analogy that may look silly. Ever tasted tea after eating a sweet. If yes, you know how bland it feels. Right now everything else feels like that bland tea – you’re my sweet. I can’t tell you make my heart race with each word you speak or write. I feel both fortunate and unfortunate at the same time – yes it’s a strange concoction of emotions. Fortunate that I at least found you and unfortunate that I didn’t find you in time. But I promise you that you will always be my princess. There are some relations that are pure honey – the damn thing might be a thousand year old but never gets stale. Or better yet, it’s like a wine in a wooden cask. Older it gets, better it kicks. I may go on and on and I never want to stop pouring my heart out, but may I take a moment and propose you: (on one knee) Will you accept me the way I am, forever, and be a brat princess for me always? I love you for loving me. No actually I love everything of yours with whatever I have. 

Forever yours. 

“I can’t believe what I just read. Words moistened my eyes.”

“Mine too while writing. These are prolly the rare words that have directly touched my heart on their way out. I wanna cry in your lap. Awaiting your response.”

“M speechless.”

“Say something. Anything.”

“Stoned with happiness. No one ever expressed love to me in this way. Is this real?”

“As real as a rocket to Venus on NASA’s launch pad.”

“Venus and Cupid are together on this.”

“They are. See that’s why I enjoy my time with you. You need no explanation.”

“I accept your proposal.”

“Those are the best words anyone in my position could hear.”

“I love you.”

“Want to hear you more. Those three words are worth more than what Shakespeare and Milton could ever write.”

“And it’s getting stronger.”

“Yes I always want that it should grow stronger and not weaker as with most other relations.”

“I am scared of fading relations.”

“Me too. I won’t let it fade. Not this time.”

“I am with you. Wish I had met you before.”

“I want to hear you more. Me too. I will hug you and never let you leave.”

“I will never leave. You have entered the depths of my heart. It’s calm and absorbing.”

“I wanna listen to your heart.”

“Aren’t you getting the vibrations? What you have expressed a little while ago, I am ready to spend 100 lives with you. I am combating turmoil inside me. My heart is racing to be with you. The expressions you have used for me and the way you narrated your feelings, are similar to what I have done in past relationships. It’s happening for the first time with me. I am being loved the way I always craved for. I just hope it’s real. Another heart break would ruin me.”

“Trust no one. Trust the Math. There is a significant probability that this is for real. Numbers don’t lie. People do.”

“My geeky lover!”

Love retold!

Phone rang intermittently and was finally answered by a feeble female voice. He spoke first out of anxiety.

“Hello!”

“Hi!” (Happiness in his voice after listening to her lit her mood.)

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah.” (Silence)  “What makes you think something’s amiss?”

“I had a feeling something’s wrong. I Don’t Know.” (She smiled. He continued) Let me know if I can help in anyway. I don’t know. I just pick up on small things. It’s an intuition I have about this. It’s like, the way you talk and mood swings that you have. They’re subtle but can be picked up. (She revelled in the attention bestowed on her). I will be glad if I am wrong. Just sharing this because you may be in a spot of bother and too righteous not to ask for help or something.”

“Ahhhhhhh (Pressed by his concern. He has turned out be blessing in disguise for her) Can we get over it?”

“Fine. You can choose to tell me or not tell me. The point is, if I can be of any help let me know.” (Silence)

“It’s just that I am feeling low. I just can’t figure out at times, if I am doing the right thing with my life or not.”

“And you know it’s the right question to ask, sometimes. Rather than being a fool and being pushed by life, it’s better to question the path, the destination.” (Silence. He continued) “Sometimes I pick up those subtle cues for your mood swings. But I don’t always ask unless I feel you’re really in pain because it would be inappropriate to talk about something personal to you. Today I asked because your swings have been longer this time around and thought it might be something serious.”

“But I am curious to know how? We hardly spoke or met during these days. By the way, thanks a lot for your concern. It feels better to talk.”

“I don’t know how the process works. But I have always believed that there are vibrations emanating from your mind and if one wants to listen to those whispers one can. One should be ready to listen to other person’s vibrations. And a troubled mind creates stronger, larger ripples – as a big rock tossed in a lake would. So I guess I am able to pick those up in your case. And you know what. The worst part is, when you’re low, you shut yourself up. Not letting anyone on your pinch points. So people around you need to listen to those vibrations. That’s the only way they can know.” (She laughed).

“You have come to know a lot. For how long have you been paying attention to me? (Pause) Hmmm. I guess there is science behind it too that connects two minds and sends and receives vibrations and decodes messages.”

“I am a quick learner. As quick as the arrow shot from Arjuna’s quiver.” (His chrirpy voice answered.)

“You are too sweet to be true.”

“The truth is, everyone’s gonna hurt you at some point. Wisdom lies in finding people worth suffering that hurt for. The more such people you have, the better is your life. Nature does that for you. You know, I like that Moon and the ocean beneath. It’s so enchanting. I mean the starry sky, the beach, the moon, the wet sands, the sounds of waves – it’s like a fairy tale. For all my rational thinking, I am a big believer in fairy tales.”

“You won’t believe. While you were busy speaking, I actually imagined myself lying on the beach in Malaysia under the starry sky.”

“Vibrations! My dear.”

“They are getting stronger.”

“Like the tides on a full moon.” (They laugh together.)

“Nature is so soothing that it can put to rest a racing mind.”

“Those pristine beaches! They help you bloom and groom! It’s like finding a corner in this world where you can be candid to yourself under the moonlit sky.”

(Roar of laughter) “You have put everything about me in bits and pieces. I feel like hiding from you…hideaway in my candid corner.”

“I was about to ask where will you hide and you replied!!”

“Is it full moon night tonight?”

“Nope. It’s the third or fourth moon. (Added with enthusiasm) But we can. We can make do with a third or fourth moon. You know what? I enjoy talking to you because you don’t bore. You reply in tandem, as if completing the verses in our little poem that we are weaving here. Ah the play on words.”

“I too like talking to you. And do you know why? Because no one ever suggested me to watch a horror movie when I feel low.” (Laughs. He follows.)

“I guess life is not about a perfect moment or a perfect person. It is about how people can get together to see perfection in an imperfect mess.”

“It’s turning into an unforgettable night!”

“Oh judged already? How do you know there isn’t gonna be a better night? Maybe you should wait for the full moon to appear in the night sky over a restless sea across a pristine beach.”

“I ain’t judging, sir. I am enjoying to the core this third or fourth moon night while waiting anxiously for a full moon night to bulldoze us with thoughts.”

“I strongly feel that you’ll work your problems out. You’re a hustler. All these years of darkness have robed you of many precious years, but it has give you something in return. It has made you hustle your problems out. I know you’re still a brat and you are so obstinate that there’s an approach to dealing with you. You’re not like a dandelion. You know dandelions don’t need nurture and care. They just grow. But an orchid. Yes – that’s more like it. You’re an orchid that needs a lot of nurture. .”

“You are a poet. I would love to read your creations. But right now, I am speechless. You are right in a way, I am still a brat within and a hustler. But don’t know about dandelion or orchids. I have fought my battles, won and failed and survived. This made me stronger and calmer at the same time. But it has also made me change my way of life, which is for better.

“Being a brat is kind a cute. Yes. You never give up. You’re ready to put up a smiling face and battle out the odds. That’s a big, big plus. People spend their lifetimes and never achieve this. They keep complaining and whining about those misfortunes. You don’t. You hold the ocean of emotions in your heart, use your skills to look winsome and dapper and put up a semblance that you mean business. And for the most part, you actually mean business.”

“I am puzzled. Did I reveal so much about me or its your probing?”

“I don’t know.”

“You can’t evade this.”

(Laughs) “I really don’t know. There’s something about you. I can just listen to what you’re thinking. And the more you hide, more the vibrations I guess.”

“You are making things difficult for me. Neither can I hide nor express.”

“I thought there was something about you the first time we talked. There was perceptible vibration in your voice.”

“You have made me restless.”

“You shouldn’t be. I see through you. But you will be able to see through me too and when you will know about the skeletons in my closet you might not be overly restless.”

“I see through you.” (She repeated) What a piercing statement! And you don’t want me to be restless.” (He chuckled. She continued). “You know what exactly I want…we should have been on the beach with Budweiser lying and gazing at the stars and talking for hours.”

“Yes. A beach unblemished by the tyranny of humans. And a sky unpolluted by the greed and envy of mankind. And since I don’t have to carry the burden of hiding anything from you, I am just as I am.You like being around with people with who you can be yourself. That is the best part I cherish about our association.”

“Does that mean you too like the company in which you can be yourself?”

“Yes who doesn’t. You don’t carry the burden of being someone else when you can have a person where you know you can be stupid and not be judged.”

“I didn’t find you stupid anywhere. Did I miss it?” (She asked teasingly)

“Oh really? That horror movie thing? When you’re low? That’s stupid advice man!”

“Stupid for you. Exhilarating for me.”

“Wow. You find that exhilarating? That’s why we gel well I guess.” (He laughs).

“Let me tell you your laugh is contagious. I like that about you.”

“Something someone likes about me. That’s flattering to know.”

“In fact that’s the first thing I had noticed in you and liked it.”

“And about you it was your voice. It was so clear and so feminine. I am sure the lexicographers would have a word about it in the dictionaries.” (She blushed. Silence. He continued) I just happen to care about you.

“I can totally feel that. It’s as real as my breath.”

“I am honoured. I worry that you don’t have a smooth system in life.”

“Am yet to learn the mathematics to combat everyday hassles of life. Everything is going to be smooth after that.”

“I am happy you trust that. And we need to empty all that turmoil from your mind and heart. Let the life force flow through you and revitalize the deepest recesses that have been tainted with sorrow.”

“Yeah. This is also going to be easy. You know it right? Beach and beer!”

“Do you feel better now?”

“Great. After drinks. (Laughs) What about you?”

“I don’t need if you’re around. Your voice is alcoholic. But I am happy.  You’re in an eerily nice and ecstatic mood.”

“Whenever I am happy, I am intoxicated and that to without drinks. That’s again a rare quality that I possess. This intoxication is contagious and gives my companion a mental high.”

“Yes indeed it does. It’s a different avatar of your personality. And I think you were born to be this free a bird.”

“Such moments of ecstasy are rare but when it comes, as you say, I am in my elements.”

“Relations are funny. We barely met and we bond. I wish to keep our bond sacred and long lived. Yes we are! The crazy duo! (Pause) Do you know what they say? Every cloud has a silver lining! I don’t know. Is it that we are both artists and crazy as hell that we gel well?”

“Am I the silver lining of your cloudy life?”

“Now I am blushing. If I say yes, would that be what people call “flirting”?”

“Let’s not judge feelings by worldly standards. Let it be a smooth sailing of two souls that are innately creative to grow and flourish. Certain relationships are karmic and we don’t know about its origin. Let it be there. Let it rest.”

“Agreed ma’am. It’s just as you say. I will always be illuminated by your presence.”

“I am a treasure trove. Hard to unlock, difficult to ……..”

“Dissect! You’re hard to unlock. So very true. But I did. With some familiarity I want to learn how I could best be a support system to those million mood swings. But I trust I will.”

“I am blushing this time. You already are in your own subtle way.”

“And I treasure these moments. You’ve given me some of the most enthralling time tonight. Went toe to toe with all my quips and rhetoric We touched base with a range of emotions.”

“Time to return from the beach.”

“Yeah. Sadly.”

“Oh! Don’t make that long face.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You will be leaving.”

“Only to see you tomorrow morning.”

“Will wait till then. It will always be a little world for only two people.”

“Bye.” (They hang up).

The Marginalised Minority

First look at the title would have instigated repulsiveness in you. A silent loud voice would have screamed, “Shut your big mouth even before opening it, you stinking feminist, ready to blabber on another female issue…blah, blah, blah!” quite understandable. So, I thought, for a change, how about a take on men and issues related to them. Besides, plight of woman is so much highlighted that it has started falling on deaf ears.

To begin with, let me tell you that over a past few months I have been intrigued by a peculiar set of characteristics defining certain men. My intellectual faculty has failed to pop out one word to define such a lot but has given me reasons to call them marginalised. Their attributes include physical attractiveness, well read, eloquent speakers, of high professional and social status, nature lover, modern in appearance and thought for self, sought independence early in life, and determined. It was the other side of the coin that flabbergasted me. They are also hypocritical, self-centred, passive, tell-tale, vengeful, jealous, materialistic, enjoys scapegoatism, exhibit poor decision making abilities with regards to social networks, aspiring to be in good books of networks, highly critical and rigidly orthodox in outlook for such close relations, comfortable withdrawal from any situation, inhuman ability to ignore, filled with pretence to the core, not interested in family or intimate relationships, sees marriage as convenience while enjoying the prolonged phase of bachelorhood, extrovert but feigns introversion and pines over lack of companionship, devoid of emotion but always teary, suffers from guilt of early self-assertion and blame others for his social failure.

The mosaic of binaries amused me as I further deconstructed the composition. More I pondered, the more I felt at wits end. Human beings are characterised by good and bad qualities; it is predominance over other that makes all the difference. Some are also perfect amalgamation of both, thus switching roles as and when required. But, how do I define a character who mulls over something that he has yet does not want it, seeks independence yet resents it and blame others for his plight? Complexity here is insanely complex.

Microscopic examination of their lives reveals a calmly turbulent social life but a healthy professional side. It is families that they abhor the most. Family, which is synonymous with love, bond, relationship; love, bond, relationship is equated with responsibility, fellow feeling and care. Responsibility commands dedication, commitment, unpronounced promise to be together in thick and thin of life, in good times and bad, in autumn and spring. It is the onus that these men dread. Fear of taking up responsibility is too fearful an idea to execute. However, society and social institutions are hard task masters and treat their subjects alike. They are brought under scanner with slight digression from the defined social path. Continuous slaughtering compels them to escape. When on the crossroads, cunning as they are, they slyly choose the middle path, foxing the impression of being bogged by perpetuating demands of social institutions and shouldering every inch of the monstrous giant. Underneath the farce, they have switched off the voice of conscience, taking a back foot they wait for fragile human relations to worsen and snap, leaving behind no evidence of negligence and conscious betrayal.

The adopted side lane, which is a masterstroke, to crackdown all discomfiture is to comfortably disappear from the scene of action either by leaving the family of orientation, severing all ties with so called loved ones, dismantling of extended family, etc. Committing suicide is never their course of action because of extreme self love. The bold step is often coupled with outcry of series of wrongs meted on the now-helpless-shrieking victim by the “others” to justify his stand. Fanciful reconciliation may arise from time to time but it again is eyewash.

Peculiarity that envisages such men is hard to find yet they exist. I call this bunch of obnoxiously timid men as “marginalised minority.” Their vileness is too bitter for any human contact both physical and emotional but their psychological imbalance and ripped apart countenance is pitiable.